Francis Grimes
Lt. Francis Grimes is the head of the Department of Integration's Law Enforcement Department. He is voiced by Larry Murphy. Background Despite being a law enforcer, he has many disturbing psychological problems and severe rage issues. He also maintains several sidejobs, including working as a hospital security guard and a hitman for hire. Grimes commands a goon squad that operates out of the DOI's "force floor". It is revealed in the episode "Better Off Undead" that Grimes was born on April 5th, 1954 and is 6'2" tall. In "Mummy Dearest", Grimes' mother rises from the dead as a mummy, so Grimes is very likely to be an Egyptian. Also it is revealed that Grimes wears a toupée. Grimes on Non-Humans Grimes' encounters with unruly creatures have left him with a lifetime's worth of both physical scars, such as his missing kneecap, and emotional ones, as that stemming from his broken marriage. Thus, he naturally detests immigrants, Mark Lilly and anyone else who sympathizes with the immigrants. He has utter disdain for non-humans, preferring to think of them all as "illegal", he hunts down those who have strayed from the proper bureaucratic procedures that provide a path to U.S. Citizenship. However in later episodes he has shown to lighten up on the immigrants and will sometimes help them and Mark with problems, he has shown to be friends with several non-humans such as Leonard Powers and Doug. He specially has a searing hatred towards vampires since his wife Vera left him for one. He admires Van Hellsing, who has brought vampires nearly to extinction, and even has all kinds of fan articles of Van Hellsing, including a lunchbox. This hate is lessened after he gets cured from the Mad Larry Disease by a medicament developed by Blake's father, also a vampire, in "So, You Want to Be a Vampire?" Relationships Grimes has 15 daughters but no son for his ex-wife Vera "could never stick the landing", as revealed in "Wail Street". One of them, Tristan, marries the vampire Blake and becomes a vampire as well in an earlier episode "So, You Want to Be a Vampire?" Some of the other daughters have been mentioned and their names are Suri, Zahara, Shiloh, Moon Unit, Apple, Rumer and Pilot Inspektor (these are names Hollywood celebrities have given their children). Eventually, Vera left him and married the vampire "The Count". However, Grimes stabs the Count in the chest with a drumstick and disintegrates him when he tells Grimes "how to run the band". Grimes had a very domineering mother and she rises from the dead as a mummy in "Mummy Dearest". She begins to interfere with his life and later goes rampant in the DOI. She tells him that he was a "naughty mistake with the gardener". He finally summons the Egyptian god of death Anubis to put her back to rest. He marries the stomach bacteria Princess Chlamydia inside Twayne Boneraper's body in "Journey to the Center of Twayne". After he has left, he keeps in touch with her through a cellphone left behind in Twayne's body. It is shown in "Better Off Undead", that he is attracted to older women and quite a womanizer in the old women's scene. Side Jobs and Alternate Identities * He also works as a hospital security guard. ("Kong of Queens") * He uses Raoul's name for his own alias as a hitman. ("Kill, Mark... Kill!") * He pretends to be a manbird by having a costume sewn onto his skin and calls himself "The Collector" in the attempt to track down and kill Arturo, the manbird champion so that other manbirds will leave him alone, in "The ManBirds". * He finds he used to be a cop 35 years ago, in "Ride Me to Hell". * He acts as a human slave in the demons' End of Days War Pre-Enactment, in "G.I. Twayne". * He forms a family band "The Family Von Rap" with Dustin Lieber, in "Wail Street". Dustin leaves midway, so the band becomes "Francis Grimes and the Family Von Rap". Also he tells his daughters that he used to be in the group "Earth, Wind, Fire and Grimes" but got tossed out. * He also works as a security guard in the Municipal Brain Depository. ("Little Ship of Horrors") Trivia * Only his ex-wife's husband "The Count" calls him "Frank". ("Wail Street") * He likes to collect model trains. ("Kong of Queens") * He is sent to Mark's class after threatening a family of squash heads to hand out candies in Halloween. ("Hell for the Holidays") * He has been seen watching the reality show Night Terrors with Callie Maggotbone. It's "their thing". ("Trolling for Terror") * When he thinks that the silvermine where Mark holds the summer camp is contaminated, he runs off to the forest and lives with the bears. ("Wet Hot Demonic Summer") * His favorite TV show used to be Dishonorable Discharge until it ended the series, much to his anger, with an angel's dream. ("Ride Me to Hell") * His mother and her boyfriend taught him how to have sex. ("The Ring of Powers") * He has chased "The Beast" across New York City for five years. He finally defeats her with a "monster fighting suit" he designed but releases her to keep the chase going. ("Lilly and the Beast") * He wears a toupée. ("Mummy Dearest") * He can read Egyptian hieroglyphics to summon Anubis. ("Mummy Dearest") * His goon squad competes with the Social Services Department in a football match each year. ("Any Given Workday") * He activates the bomb to blow up New York City. ("The Roast of Twayne the Boneraper") Episode Absences While Grimes is a main character, he is absent from the following episodes: * Treegasm * Sympathy for the Devil * Callie and Her Sister Gallery Goon squad.png|Grimes' goon squad Category:Characters Category:Humans Category:Main characters Category:Mark's class Category:Grimes' Family